The Goal

End the interaction feeling more connected to the person than you did when you started.

The challenge

Do this despite everything in your body telling you to emotionally attack this person or yourself.

STEP 1

TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT HOW YOU ARE FEELING.

Step one is about connecting to yourself. Telling the truth about how you are feeling. It is OK to feel whatever it is that you feel. It is about defending your self-worth. It is about recognizing that you are a human that feels many different things and are no better or worse than anyone.

STEP 2

TELL THE OTHER PERSON HOW YOU IMAGINE THEY MIGHT BE FEELING.

Step two is about connecting to the other person. It is very easy to dehumanize the other person in these situations. Step two helps you realize that the other person is a human struggling through the world just like you. They are no better or worse than you.

STEP 3

SAY ONE THING TO CONNECT WITH LOVE.

Step three is about connecting to each other. It is apologizing, forgiving, thanking, hoping that they’ll have a better day. It is about expressing the care that you feel. If you’ve done steps one and two correctly, then step three is easy.